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Monday, November 24, 2008

More of what not to do on the farm

Here is another sample of things you ought not to do on the farm. None of these were from my experience, mind you, but they are good to remember.

Never assume your blind date won't notice that you still smell like hogs.

Don't bend over in front of a Ram! He will use you as batting practice.

Never assume you got all of the chicken poop off your head before you go to the store.

Do not ever run across a sun-dried manure pit thinking "light" thoughts ... you are not that light!

Do not ever leave the goat pen gate open "just for a second"...even if the goats appear to be at the farthest point away from gate. They are able to run faster than a person pushing a full wheelbarrow up a hill, and can jump OVER said wheelbarrow. not forget the grainbucket when luring goats back to their pen.
PPS...put REAL grain in the bucket too...they can TELL if you just put a handful of gravel in instead.
PPPS...dont do any of these things on days when it is icy.

Never let your city nieces gather the eggs...oh dear. They brought in the ones a hen was sitting on and I sold them unknowingly at work to a friend who hard boiled them for egg salad--yes, you are picturing it right....fortunately, she thought it was hilariously funny....and told the story to one of our docs who was a Kentucky farm boy and we almost had to send him to the ER he was laughing so hard in the middle of a delivery.


moe said...

I did #3 on Saturday! I thought my daughter was having a stare contest with me but she suddenly said "oh! It is chicken poop. I thought you had a scratch on your forehead & tried to cover it up." At least I had only just returned from the hardware store.

Hey CK: do most calves get born without anybody hauling them out?

Calfkeeper said...

moe-ha! aren't kids so helpful?!
Yes, the majority of calves are born without anyone hauling them out, but those aren't any fun to blog about.

Amrita said...

Oh I want to live on a farm

Calfkeeper said...

amrita-I wish you could, even for a while, to get the experience.