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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Bull Story

Last Friday was not my husband’s day. Poor feller.

For one thing the temps were near zero, and doing chores in that kind of weather is a real drag. Then it started to snow on him while he was out choring, which makes it that much more annoying.

He had to take bales of hay to all three pastures up the road, I believe. When he was in the bull pasture, which is about ¾ of a mile up the road, the dreaded thing happened; the tractor ran out of gas. Now, mind you, he HAD checked it and thought he had enough. But the only way to check is to stand up at the seat, lean over the steering wheel and peer into the tank. Doing this while snow is blowing around you and you are swaddled in several layers of clothing with the wind whipping your scarf around is no small feat. So he miscalculated.

Well, the bull pasture is right in front of his granddad’s place, so he made tracks over there to borrow some gas (this itself turned into an ordeal, but we will skip that part) and by the time he got back with the gas he discovered that one plus one equals two…as it were.

ONE: he had left the main gate open


ONE: one of our open heifers across the gravel road was in heat

EQUALS: The bull decided to take the initiative, exit the gate and go make an attempt to perform his dairy duties across the road.

Hubby chased said bull back and forth and up and down, but when a love-sick bull knows you are trying to separate him from his true love he becomes rather uncooperative and you will be hard pressed to get him where you want him to go when you are by yourself and on foot.

I was in the house relaxing after just having got the baby down for her nap when I heard the tractor come roaring in. Hubby was not happy. He went down and got his mom to come sit with the baby while we took both 4-wheelers up the road to deal with the situation. I went there with some feed, and was just in time to see the love-sick swain trying to take a leap onto the heifer, which was on the other side of the barbed-wire fence. I let out a shriek because I was afraid several things might happen; he might go over THAT fence (Oh, LORD what a nightmare-he’d breed a couple of those bitsy little heifers before we could get him out.), tear the fence down, OR; heaven help us, emasculate himself on the barbed wire. But he backed off before anything too untoward happened.

Hubby came up on the other 4-wheeler at this time and started chasing the bull the other way, he wouldn’t cooperate until hubby chased the lovely heifer off first. Then, while all this was happening one of the cows from the bull pen decided we were abusing her beloved and she headed out the gate to try and protect him. *sigh*

Now we had TWO of them running around and they headed out to the highway. Hubby got them turned around and going back down one of the other roads there. The bull decided he’d had enough and jumped over the fence back into his own pasture. I saw him rampaging across the field, bellowing insults the whole way. Then I heard hubby revving the 4-wheeler back up the road herding the wayward cow along. Fortunately she went in with little trouble.

And that is the short version of the story.


Anonymous said...

Oh my, I feel so bad for both of you, what a day!!

It's when I read stories like this that I think to myself "there is no way I could survive on a farm with cows!" Growing up we had 2 hens for years & they were easy & gave us eggs every day, which I loved. I keep begging hubby to let me get a couple of chickens, ahhhhh maybe someday.....but no cows........LOL

jel said...

sounds like a bull story to me :)

do you read your email?

Amrita said...

That was high drama. Your poor husband. He had to take the bull by the horns almost.

Calfkeeper said...

Amrita; yes, hubby had a wild day that day.

Anonymous said...

Makes all my whining lately about things a seem a little bit pitiful.

"The East County wind is so COLD!"
At least I'm not out wranglin' cattle in it!

"My boyfriend lives far away"
At least there's no barbed wire between us!

"I hate my job"
Well, I still don't like my job.

Peace and love to you and your family!

Calfkeeper said...

21094-oh, well. you still have lot of things to be thankful for; a Starbucks nearby to warm you up for one thing. I miss Starbucks.