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Monday, September 22, 2008

A Potty Post; or...country vs. city ways of "going"

(Disclaimer: if you are offended or grossed out by potty humor or things of a more visceral nature perhaps you should skip this post, but it IS a different kind of potty humor so read on if you dare.)

Yesterday evening along about 6 PM a little fancied-up S-10 pickup truck went by here slowly and then pulled into the driveway and parked. Hubby was out in the barn milking so I just peeked out the window to see what was going on. The window was open so I could hear some guy on the phone talking about how they had a flat and no way to fix it, so please come help...then he gave directions.

Because I knew hubby would be curious as to what was going on, I picked up the phone to call him out in the barn. He was already on the phone with one of his buddies so I just butted into the conversation and advised him. (Of course at this point the buddy had to tell one of his stories about some drunk dude knocking on his door at 1 AM wanting to borrow gas to get home on. It's inevitable that when you have something like this happen someone has to "one up" you by telling a worse scenario story.)

So about 10 minutes later I see one of these guys walking across the lawn to the front door. He was a young "kid," maybe late teens, early 20s and reeking of cigarette smoke. He needed to use the restroom. Said they'd run over a pair of pliers and their help was an hour away. So I let him in. He reminded me of my oldest nephew in some ways.

He left and then 20 minutes or so later hubby called me on the phone to tell me it was time for me to come out and feed the calves. He also wanted to know why the guy had come to the front door. When I told him he was incredulous. "What?! He came to a stranger's house to use the restroom? Hasn't he ever heard of a bush?" I said: "Well, he must be a city boy." Hubby just shook his head in bemusement.

To be perfectly honest, I hadn't thought anything about it. But really; across from us is about 20 acres of heavily wooded and brushy oak forest. I could go out and squat 10 feet from the road and no one would see me. Of course there is always the copperhead and poison ivy risk...but hey, live life on edge sometimes, right?

By the time I had got the baby ready and arrived at the barn hubby had called his buddy back and related the audicity of this kid had; to use a stranger's restroom. Of course the buddy had a story to top it.

Seems when he was a kid some of his cousins from Kansas City came down and they were all playing outside. One little guy (age unknown) wanted to go in to use the facilities. They just told him to go behind a bush. So he did. Only thing is he had to go #2 and he had never been taught the concept of squatting. So he sat flat of his butt and went.

And there you have some examples of the differences between city and country "going."

5 comments:

Solomon said...

So he sat flat of his butt and went.

HAHAHAHA!!!

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

An old guy up where my mom lives (northern MN) told me once that his daughters won't let him come visit them in the "city" (Duluth -- barely counts) because he wouldn't stop peeing in their front yards.

Amrita said...

Oh dear me ...knee slapping that was.

I 'd never allow a stranger to use the pot.

Could be dangerous too.

Your friends story is too pooty to be true.

Where was the guy from...Mars?

moe said...

Somebody was telling me about losing track of their small child at Sears? Home Depot ? for a minute, &then coming around a corner to find her just finishing using a display toilet in plain view of all shoppers.
"What did you do?"
"I just sneaked quietly away and caught up with her a few aisles away."

Calfkeeper said...

solomon...yes, I laughed too.

itpf-old habits die hard.

amrita-well, kids do the darnedst things. you never know what they might try.

moe-I would have done the same thing if it had been my child. That's too funny