Here are some little pieces of farm advice I picked up from a homesteading forum...
They are NOT mine by the way, but they are hilarious.
*If you decide to use the "shortcut" and just throw the pig manure out the window on to the pile instead of using the wheel barrow, make sure it's not the windiest day of the year.
*Never tell a child that yes, you COULD drink straight from a cow's teat.
*Never worm livestock with skin penetrating wormer such as Cydectin without gloves....the poison control will laugh their hind end off at you.
*Never look too close to a bulging bag of water from a birthing whatever, you might get a closer look than you think.
*Never ride a horse after drinking- while still in a cast from the last run-in you had with the same horse- the doctor will be angry.
*If you must gather eggs at night USE A LIGHT or risk having one of the eggs wrap itself around your wrist and halfway up your forearm when you grab it. This could lead to staving in the back of your head on the low overhead which in turn makes it very difficult to get out of the hen house to dispose of the snake on your arm.
*Never assume that city kids will know not to take broody eggs. Never assume that the eggs you're using to make pound cake are not broody eggs collected by a well-meaning youngster. Anyone else seen what happens when a half grown chick gets thrown into a Kitchenaid mixer at full speed?
*When visiting a dairy farm..do not stand behind the cows in the barn..especially when they lift their tails..it is impossible to remove all stains from your clothing..particularly when it comes from two cows at once.
*Don't stand behind a coughing cow either. There's no tail-lift warning.
*NEVER challenge a billy goat when you are on your hands and knees!!
And that is just a sample!